We faked it long enough. Honesty is THE superpower.
Creative Lead, Dersu Rhodes, on celebrating vulnerability, being totally insane, and why a 5 seconds thumbs up from the Universe, is everything.
I got reminded last week, that the framing of what we’re doing here, is everything. This isn’t just to share stories of woe and misery, but to inspire and share a message of hope. One that says, you’re not alone, and there is a way through.
Amidst rounds of layoffs and economic fragility, it’s easy to feel lost and adrift at sea, like you’re losing your mind ALL the time. BUT, we bring you the guts and the glory and the hell from high water to say, YES, it can all be a bit shite at times, AND here’s the magic amongst it all.
I’m pretty certain Dersu Rhodes is the coolest person I know.
I met Dersu just after he got let go from his dream job, and getting to witness him navigate that process and turn heartbreak into some powerful art, is exactly the kind of magic I want to be around.
Dersu says, ‘I remember posting the first drawing and thinking ‘this is definitely not going to get me a job, because now everyone thinks I'm fucking totally insane’’.
Yes. You are totally insane. And we love insane people around here.
—Holly Gottlieb (Founder, Whole Collective)
Corporate Counter Culture: Dersu Rhodes
Formerly known as the VP of Creative at MUD\WTR in Los Angeles, and Creative Director at VICE. ‘Raised by creative hippy parents in Montana, I didn't have a television until I was nine. And from a quiet yearning to fit in as a child and "just be normal," a necessity for storytelling emerged.’ See Dersu’s creative work at www.dersurhodes.com.
Holly: We were just talking about how it’s a wild time to be a freelancer right now - so many ups and downs of ‘is this going to happen or not’... I'm speaking to someone tomorrow about some potential work which I'm excited about, and at the same time I'm trying to manage those expectations, because I’ve had so many disappointments in the last year or so…
Dersu: My sister said something really beautiful to me - that feeling you have right now, the possibility of this project happening, this feeling that lights you UP, and excites you - she says ‘That's it! THAT is the best part’. I think sometimes we dismiss that feeling until it actually appears in reality, which is when we can celebrate and pat ourselves on the back… the sentiment she shared with me, is that it’s the moment before that, when something COULD happen, THAT is the moment to celebrate, because of course things are going to change and evolve and get hard again. And before anything becomes tangible is this free zone… so I guess it's trying to find meaning in almost every single part of the process, and celebrate it ALL.
Holly: Totally. I feel like that excitement piece for me is just a big thumbs up from the universe, like a breadcrumb trail saying ‘this way’….
Dersu: And I think the trick is just to be okay with enjoying that 5 seconds of “big thumbs up”. And just trusting, even for the blink of an eye, you hit gold.
Holly: And when you’re not in that zone, it feels frustrating… how do you keep that excitement feeling the whole time? Maybe that's impossible.
Dersu: I think we’d become numb to it… I think it is impossible to keep that all the time unless you're fully in delirium I guess… but I think there has to be contraction and expansion in any creative process.
Holly: Jennie Morton talked about this study they did of the most prolific composers of the last few hundred years… Mozart, Beethoven, Bach etc. This study looked at their journals, and found that there were always these deep dark night of the soul, depressive times of their life, BEFORE they composed their most prolific pieces. So those periods of deep darkness were actually necessary fertile times for their most creative output.
Dersu: It's tricky because you don't want to fall into the idea that you need to be in suffering to create art, because I don't think that's true. I remember that story, and the idea that the work wasn't being created during the actual suffering, but yes of course you're going to have points where there is a bit of a contraction and you're going to go through something, and the relief following that is great creative ground.
Holly: I think the comics are a brilliant way of how you have channelled that contraction into something really creative and meaningful. It was done in such a vulnerable way that I think really hit home for many people…
Dersu: That was definitely the most raw I've ever been in my life and it came off the back of being let go from MUD\WTR. That definitely felt like a heartbreak moment, and I just wanted to be as raw and honest as I could possibly get with myself, and it wasn’t intended to be something I was going to share. It was just my way of processing what was going on for me, and I started drawing this sad sort of character.
I love going back to what James Blake said about being honest… he catches himself writing a line because that’s what a love song or sad song is supposed to sound like, and it’s like NO NO fuck that, every time we create something because we think it sounds or looks good, we’re not being honest with ourselves.
And sometimes when I start drawing a frame I think, oh this would be cool for the story, but I’m not being as honest as I can get. And then I come back to that brutal honesty idea, and MAN it feels uncomfortable but that’s when I know I’m being honest. I remember posting the first drawing and thinking ‘this is definitely not going to get me a job, because now everyone thinks I'm fucking totally insane. Who’s going to hire this emo lost puppy?!’ But it's been interesting because on the contrary, it's gotten the attention of people that are running companies who are really resonating with my story. It ended up being the deepest way I've ever connected with people through media.
I think it’s really interesting that what I find myself gravitating towards the most, and I think a lot of other people do too, is this sense of raw, brutal honesty. I have zero interest anymore in anything which isn’t that. We've wasted so much time with fluff and putting on a dog and pony show to impress people at mixers and fucking networking events, and to me those days are dying… and can you imagine if we had arrived at this point years ago, but maybe you’ve got to play the game first before you get real honest.
Holly: I found that after Tom died, I was meeting all these business people and we were talking about their friend who died or their divorce or whatever. And these were business meetings with people that I would have once thought I had to impress and then overnight, there just wasn’t time for the fluff anymore, you just don’t care about the surface level stuff because we just don’t have time for it, you want to get right to the meat of it.
Dersu: I think about that artist, Charlie Mackesy, who does the cartoon with the boy, the mole and the fox, and it goes ‘what’s the bravest thing you’ve ever said?’... ‘Help’. And I love this concept of associating courage with vulnerability. I remember leading the team at MUD\WTR, and just the power of sharing transparently that I was feeling a little lost or didn't know what the answer was… it was really powerful. And it made such a difference having that kind of champion from the top - Shane Heath was always encouraging that kind of vulnerability and saying ‘I don't know’, became something that was celebrated.
And THAT is the new form of leadership that we so desperately need in all these startups and heavy hitting businesses, I mean we faked it long enough! And it’s that kind of sentiment that is driving the success behind those kind of companies. Honesty and curiosity, and really it’s all just play, but yeah honesty being a superpower.
And what you’re doing here with the Whole Collective, that is IT. These are the stories I want to hear…. There’s this feeling of comfort when someone goes through heartbreak and then finds himself in love again, and you hear about someone who works on a project for two years that never gets made and then they fall in love with another project and can find the same amount of excitement again…. That is some magnificent shit. I think anybody who's doing that right now…. HELL. YES. If you've had your heart broken and you're back at it and you're excited again… Hallelujah! That's dope. Come on. That's what we should be celebrating right now.
The Semi-Conscious Comic, by Dersu Rhodes
Dersu’s first comic, referred to above. See more @secondhand_sheets.
Friends of Whole Collective
As we share conversations with individuals who have been on deeply transformative journeys, we also bring you the power crew who have the tools to help anyone who seeks that transformation themselves. We have searched high and low through desert and jungle, and these folks are simply the best in the business. Between them they share a range of different modalities that are deeply effective at getting into the body beyond talk therapy alone. Reply to this email if you’re looking for help but not sure what you need. We can help. We also offer corporate packages for companies who are interested in a more holistic approach for employees.
Patch McCormick : mens + couples psychotherapist
Kate Nasuti : perspective coach
Pete Vlastelica : breathwork facilitator (read more in our interview with Pete)
Sophie Fletcher Phd : somatic experiencing and human design
Trojan horsing the corporate world with profound hippie shit.
Thanks for following along folks. My real intention behind growing this thing, is that no-one should not know where to go to find the help they need. At one point, I thought I was losing my mind. I didn’t know where to go and what help I actually needed. It’s not that help didn’t exist, I was just looking for it in the wrong places.
So here we are. You’re not alone. There is a way through.
—Holly Gottlieb (Founder, Whole Collective)
Holly is an executive recruiter by day, working with purpose-driven founders to help scale mission-led companies for the betterment of people & planet. By night, a writer and musician, playing shows in Los Angeles. Linkedin, Instagram, latest music on Spotify.
